A Run In With Akatsuki
by Warrior orb5
Summary: Another boreing Akatsuki in real life fic? Oh HELL no. Crack fic. A slightly deconstructive approach to Akatsuki in real life fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Own I not, of the Naruto variety.

A/N:Urg, I hate myself for ever writing this . . . but I still feel some hints of affection for it since it was one of my first stories . . . SO CONFLICTED!

* * *

"Taiki, I'm booooooored!" I said while throwing my hands up in the air.

"I think we should make a Youtube video!" I said with more enthusiasm when he didn't reply.

"Amaya, we can't even think of a game to play let alone a video to make right now," He said back.

"Whatever then, I'll just go get my laptop so we can watch some cosplay," I said while returning with a laptop and an Akatsuki cloak on.

"Really?" My bored friend asked me in exasperation.

"Abso-fukin-lutely," I replied.

"Whatever, hey is that a new video?" he asked.

"Yeah, I made it a while ago but you gotta see this other one too" I said as a big swirly vortex opened up in the middle of my living room.

Being me I had no idea what was going on because I was total absorbed in my video and therefore not paying attention to anything.

"Uh . . . Amaya?"

"Not now Taiki!" I interrupted.

He turned my head toward the big swirly vortex.

"Oh," I said.

Then all of the Akatsuki fell out of the portal and on to my floor except Tobi who landed on Taiki.

"Ow, what just happened?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah, where the fuck are we?" Hidan asked a little more forcefully while reaching for his scythe.

They all looked at me except Kisame who apparently fell on his head and was knocked out.

"Why are you wearing one of our cloaks and where did you get it?" Pein demanded.

"Well in that order, you just randomly teleported into my house, you're in my living room, I'm wearing the cloak because its awesome, and I bought it," I answered.

"Also, Tobi I think you're crushing my friend," I stated.

He looked down and then quickly got off of him and scrabbled comically towards Deidara.

Are you an allie to us then?" Itachi asked while smoothing out his Akatsuki uniform.

"Yeah, you could call it that," I replied.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Sasori suspiciously.

"Well, I really would call myself an allie to you that or someone with devoted love to you guys, but others would just call me obsessive," I said while shrugging.

The Akatsuki stared at me with varying looks of confusion, disgust, and amusement.

"Can I kill this crazy bitch?" Hidan asked.

Pein rolled his eyes but then nodded to him with no change in his expression.

Hidan then picked up his scythe and started walking over to me.

"Oh, come on now I'm sure that I can be valuable to you some how, come on don't look at me like that!" I pleaded while backing up towards the window. He then quickly severed my head.

"Well that was-" Hidan started but was cut off by me screaming, "I WILL NOT BE SILENCED"

I attempted one of my evilest of evil laughs. Taiki walked over sighed and put my head back on my shoulders.

"Hey! Taiki you put my head on backwards, you had to have done it on purpose!" I yelled while straightening my head.

All the while the Akatsuki watched with looks of shock or in some cases neutrality.

"What you didn't think Hidan was the only immortal did you?" I asked.

"Um, so you said that you were an allie?" Deidara asked hopefully.

"Yup." I reply while Taiki looked from one to the next of the people in the room.

Finally he began saying, "I probably went crazy or something I'm gonna go home and pretend that none of this happened," He then walked out mumbling about me attracting weird shit because of my immortality.

"Well then. . . You guys wanna stay here until we figure out how to send you back to your dimension?" I asked trying to act cool because now that the shock wore off I realized that I was in a room with my heroes.

They looked at each other confused and then asked, "What do you mean dimension?"

"This is gonna take a _l__ong_ explanation."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a few of the retarded quotes that I might say.  
A/N: I got one review and I am so happy, this story was product of a long bus ride with my friends so this is what happens when you trap otaku in an enclosed space for hours and give them sugar apparently. Also I've been watching way to much Jacey62 cosplay, you guys should check it out.

* * *

"Yeah, dimension in this dimension you guys are only stories," I explain.

"But, its not your guys' story, its Naruto's," I told them with a note of melancholy in my voice.

"In fact, you guys are made out to be the villains, but that doesn't mean that you don't have a huge horde of fangirls that wouldn't kill to see you guys in person," I add with a huge grin on my face. "But I got lucky and get to meet you guys!"

I pulled Tobi into a hug and he fidgeted uncomfortably until I let him go.

"Oh, by the by, if anyone has watched every episode of Naruto they know everything about you," I told them with an evil smirk.

"Have YOU seen every episode then?" Asked Sasori after a pause.

"Well pretty much, but I skipped a few that didn't have you in them, only Orochimaru," I answered.

"OH MY STARCLAN, I almost forgot Takeshi-Senpai was coming over today and she is a Sasuke fangirl not really an Akatsuki fangirl," I blurted out.

Right after I proclaimed this a knock was heard followed my a more annoyed louder knock a few seconds later.

"Who wants to meet my Senpai first?" I asked.

After they all rolled their eyes or just generaly scoffed at me Hidan spoke up, "I'm not a pussy like theses guys, so I'll go see your friend."

"Its always nice to have a volunteer," I said in a creepy voice.

Hidan and I walked down stairs and opened the door for my irritated friend.

"Gosh!, What took you so long?" Takeshi asked while walking in.

She was wearing a shirt that said I AM NARUTO in big letters on it and some steel toed shoes like usual.

"Who's the cosplayer?" she asked.

"What's a cosplayer?" Hidan asked back.

"Uh, Takeshi-Senpai that's the REAL Hidan" I told her.

"Pfft, yeah right if that was the real Hidan he would be cursing about something," She said with about no interest.

"I'M THE REAL FUCKING HIDAN!" Hidan yelled.

"Yeah, and all the rest of the Akatsuki are in my living room doing god knows what," I told her.

We all stood there for a moment of awkward silence and then walked back upstairs to go see if they destroyed anything. When we got upstairs I was surprised to see that they didn't destroy anything.

Takeshi stood dumbfounded for a moment before saying, "Well, fuck, you were telling the truth!"

Most of the Akatsuki just sighed in exasperation and sat on my couch.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto just this train wreak of a storyline.  
A/N: I might start to hold chapters hostage for one review per chapter, that's fair right?

* * *

Kisame decided to be friendly so he patted her on the head and said, "So Shorty, what do you need?"

She immediately tensed at being called short and I flinched waiting for her to tell him to fuck off but was pleasantly surprised when she didn't even flip him off.

When she just shrugged everyone remained silent for a short time.

"Well what do you guys want to do?" I asked unsure about this situation.

"Well I don't know about them but I came over so you would help me with this homework," Takeshi pointed out while holding up her folder.

"What should we do?" Tobi asked.

"Well if you guys help us with it then we'll be able to do other stuff sooner, like help you guys figure out how to get home . . . n'stuff," I replied while getting my math book out.

"Let me get this straight, you want us, A group of highly skilled S-rank criminals, to help you with you homework," Kakuzu said while starting undo his stitches.

"Yup, pretty much," I told him.

Itachi then walked over and looked at my homework.

"The answer to number 1 is the square root of 76," Itachi stated while looking to the next problem.

"Or you could just give us the answers, that works too," I say while copying down what Itachi said.

After about 4 minutes the math was done and we were free to figure out a solution to the Akatsuki's problem and I came up with this, "Well you guys can stay with me until we figure out how to get you back to your world so I guess I have to go buy more food and we have to find places for all of you to sleep."

Takeshi walked over to my laptop and started turning it on and going to the internet.

"What is she doing?" Konan asked.

"I'm going on Google to look for a way home for you guys," Takeshi replied.

"I don't think that that will work but your not really doing that, your just looking up SasuNaru aren't you?" I said while looking at the screen to confirm my suspicion.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the Akatsuki or Naruto or the wizard of oz or the moon . . . For now.

A/N: The first couple of chapters weren't all that funny but these should start getting better and funnier. Still holding chapters hostage for 1 review each and as soon as I get that review I'll post another chapter.

* * *

"I'm not looking up SasuNaru I'm looking up NaruSasu!" Takeshi yelled.

"What is SasuNaru, it sounds _interesting,_" Orochimaru said while not relizing that he sounded so creepy.

"What the bloody hell, where the fuck did you creepy snake pedophile come from?" I screamed.

Hidan got up and yelled, "She has a good point why the fuck ARE you here?"

"I was an Akatsuki member at one point you know," Orochimaru replied while trying to see the computer.

I walked over to Pein and asked him if it was okay if I tried to kill Orochimaru.

"I don't think that you will be able to but if you could it would only help us," Pein replied while watching Takeshi get freaked out by his creepy snake tongue.

"THAT'S IT, I refuse to stay in your house another minute with THAT!" Takeshi said while getting her stuff and leavening.

"Ok, bye Takeshi-Sempai see you later!" I said while she ran out of the house.

"I'll be right back," I said before walking into my room. Some boxes being moved and things being looked through were heard.

When I walked back in I had a small gun.

"Hey Orochimaru?" I asked.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Just hold still like that for a second, ok?" I said while quickly shoting him in the face while I caught him off guard.

He colapsed.

"Huh, that actauly worked?" I asked myself while walking over to find his ring.

I started look for the ring and found a knife, then another knife, and another knife, and another knife, and a . . . "Why the fuck did he have so many knives!"

I stopped looking through the stuff and put on the cloak and ring.

"Does this make me a member?" I asked the baffled group of Akatsuki.

"What skills and attributes do you possess?" Pein asked after regaining his composure.

"Who cares? I mean she just killed Orochimaru and she's an immortal just like me!" Hidan yelled with his tradmark grin but when he said the 'just like me' part Kakuzu visable tensed at the idea of anouther foul-mouthed member that he couldn't kill.

"That may be but the question still stands," Konan said.

"Other then what you already know?" I asked him, "Because I'm not a ninja."

"Yes other than what we already know," Sasori answered for him.

"Um . . . Me love you long time?"


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my big metal whacking stick.

A/N: Um, yeah I would really appreciate reviews.

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"No, you can't join us," Pein said.

"Ah, come on you didn't even ask!" I said in a winy voice.

"Fine we'll vote on it," Pein replied while looking about as annoyed as possible.

"By the by you guys can totally have the box of illegal grenades in the attic," I told them mostly looking at Deidara.

"And I'm sure SOMEONE doesn't want me to tell the other members who they really are," I said and Tobi tensed.

"Oh, and I can totally find awesome stuff to do Hidan." I said while high-fiveing him.

Leader looked at Hidan with a WTF face but they all walked away and started mumbling. I just stood there and tried to look cool and emotionless but I think I ended up looking like I was staring into space with a blank look on my face.

"Ok, it's been decided!" Tobi squealed happily.

"You can join us," Pein said.

"Alright!" I yelled and hugged Tobi.

"Senpai help me!" Tobi yelled.

"Oh, you don't like it when I hug you," I said in dissapointment then looked over to Itachi.

"Don't even think about it," Itachi said.

I hung my head in defeat but then looked up at them and said, "Ya' Know, we should probably get something to eat, eh?"

"Well yeah, but what about Zetsu, hn?" asked Deidara.

"What about him," I told him evilly while looking at Orochimaru's dead body.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I wanna go see what there is to eat," Deidara said while walking down the stairs.

Kisame and Hidan both shrugged and followed him.

"Huh," Deidara said after looking through one of my shelves.

"What?" Hidan asked.

"All she has in here is like 32 boxes of ramen, hot sause, something called Mountain Dew, and another thing called yan-yan," he answered.

"There's a bunch of different stuff in the refrigerator," Kisame said while then pulled out a piece of meat at random and started eating it.

The rest of Akatsuki decided that they might as well eat if they were going to be stuck here for long. They were all sitting around my kitchen on the counters some of them because there weren't enough chairs. I dragged the body in and Hidan saw all the blood all over me and watch with what was either lust or intrest.

"Ok, well we are going to go eat," The plant man said.

"Why are you going outside?" I asked.

"Do you really want to** watch me eat?**" they asked back.

"I don't care just don't get blood on the carpet," I say while taking out a pack of pocky and joining the others who where leisurely chatting with one another.

Zetsu looked like he didn't believe me and went outside anyway.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" I asked while walking over to Konan, Deidara, and Sasori who where talking and looked to be in an argument.

"We always fight over the same thing; what is true art," Konan told me.

"Hey maybe you could get someone impartial to deicide," I suggested and they all looked at one another skeptically with mumbled agreement.

"I already know about your guys' art but it would be so awesome to see it in person," I told them tring not to sound fangirly.

Konan looked a little annoyed at having to explain something I already know but Sasori and Deidara on the other hand looked excited to tell someone about there art that they weren't going to kill after. All three of them clearly thought that they were going to be chosen so I knew I had to play my cards right to not make any enemies.

"Ok now that we're outside so you can't destroy my house let's begin with a coin toss to see who goes first," I said after we walked outside.

"But there is three of us," Sasori pointed out.

After about twenty minutes they finally decided that Deidara would go first.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Hey guess what! I don't own Naruto.

A/N: I need reviews! If I don't get them I will die a slow painful death, you don't want that to happen cuz then I won't be able to update!

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Deidara looked at me and made a clay bird.

"I think that art should be fleeting, hn," he said while making the bird explode with a small burst of light.

He looked toward me and I nodded towards him.

"It's my turn brat," Sasori said as he took out a scroll and brought out a puppet.

"I KNOW that art should be eternal and everlasting," He said while letting me see the puppet.

"Well its Konan's turn," I told them while looking to her.

I saw that she already turned half her body into paper and said, "I believe this speaks for it's self."

She then made herself have her paper wings. "I think that-" I started before being cut off.

"Me, hn?"

"No brat, its me!"

"Of course she'll see its my art."

They all started arguing over who I was gonna pick so I yelled, "I don't even care anymore and its fun to watch you argue I don't want to end it any more."

"That was a waste of time but whatever lets go back inside," Konan told us as she started to walk back into the house.

When we got in I saw Kisame had found some beer. I didn't want to question it to much.

"You guys wanna play a drinking game?" I asked and walked over and grabbed one, "We could play in my living room."

They looked like they were going to argue but decided it wasn't worth it.

"Which one should we play?" Itachi asked.

Everyone looked at the Uchiha in surprise at the fact he would actually want to play a drinking game.

He responded by looking offended and saying, "What, I can't have fun ever?"

"Well actually-" Deidara started before Sasori coved his mouth, "Trust me brat you don't want to do that."

"We could either play strip truth or dare or we could play I never," I told them while passing out beer.

"Tobi thinks we could play both, one after another!" he said while taking one.

"Hey can you even legally drink?" asked Kakuzu.

"Do you really care?"

". . . Not really, no," Kakuzu then turned to look for a place to sit.

"I guess we could do what Tobi said and play both so lets play I never first," I said.

"How do you play?" Hidan asked.

"Well we go around in a circle and each person says something that they never did and if you have done what the person says that they've never done you have to take a drink, oh and if you say you haven't done something that you actually have done you have to take a drink," I told him.

"Well since Kisame found this he gets to go first," I say while looking towards him.

He smirked and then said, "I never ate a human."

"**Bastard,**" Zetsu said while taking a drink.

Deidara saw that it was his turn so he said, "I never fantasized about anyone in the group."

He was mostly looking at leader and Konan who both took a drink each but than I said, "God damn it," and took a drink as well.

They all looked at each other and decided that they would figure it out.

It was my turn.

"I never walked in on someone having sex," I said and saw that only two members had done that, Sasori and Itachi.

"Oh fuck yes, its my turn," Hidan said while trying to think of a good one.

"I never tried to kill myself," He said and then took a drink.

Itachi was the only other who took a drink.

"Itachi you can't even do that right!" Deidara taunted.

Itachi mostly ignored him and then since it was his turn he said, "I never slept with anyone."

Everyone looked shocked that Itachi would be the one to say something like that.

"Itachi is being awesome tonight!" I said.

Pein, Konan, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Tobi and Kakuzu all took a drink.

The rest of us could obviously see why, Zetsu and Kisame were freaks, we weren't even sure Itachi knew what sex was until moments ago, and I don't like other people.

"Tobi!" Deidara said while looking surprised.

He just shrugged, "It's Tobi's turn so, I never fantasized about, Hidan."

Hidan laughed until I took a drink.

"Seriously?" Hidan yelled at me.

"He didn't say it had to be in the sexual way, dumb ass!" I yelled back.

"Oh."

It was Zetsu's turn.

"I never argued with myself," he said then took a drink.

I took a drink and cursed. The others looked at me.

"What?"

"Uh . . . Wow, can't say I'm that surprised," Sasori said.

"Shut-up," I said.

"My turn, I never had a fantasy about any immortal in this group," Kakuzu said while staring at me.

"Fuck you Kakuzu," I said while taking a drink.

"I know that you want to but no thanks."

". . . Go fuck yourself I never said it was you, and I never even said it was the sexual way!" I yelled.

"Man, I feel bad for Hidan now, he has you for a partner!" I yelled at him.

Pein saw that this could become a fight so he quickly said, "I never wanted to kill Deidara."

Itachi, Sasori, and Tobi all took a drink.

"Tobi!" Deidara said sounding betrayed.

"You try to kill Tobi sometimes don't you?" I asked him.

He looked like that was a suitable answer.

"Ok, last person, Konan your up and it's on to the next game."

Konan looked thoughtful, "I never wanted to sleep with a girl."

All the members except me and Konan took a drink.

"Alright, on to strip truth or dare," I say while getting everyone a new beer.

"How do you play?" Itachi asked.

"It's like normal truth or dare except you can choose not to do the dare or truth you can take off a piece of clothing and take a drink, the last person to not forfeit wins also if you end up naked you lose," I told him.

"I'm so goin first," I said.

"Ok, Deidara truth or dare?"

"Dare, hn" he replied.

"I dare you to sing Roxanne by police, like you mean it," I said while pulling up the song on my computer.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or do I? No wait I don't.  
A/N: Yeah, sorry I haven't updated in a while my computer got wiped out from a virus so I had to fix it and I lost all my files in the process including all the chapters I was working on and haven't posted yet.

* * *

"What song, hn?" Deidara asked.

"This one!" I said while playing the song on my laptop and he scowled.

"Fine its not that bad I guess," he said while the other members snickered at him.

I replayed the song and he started to sing, the weird part was he was actually good.

Once the song was over he looked around the group an decided he would use his turn on Itachi, "Itachi, truth or dare?"

The Uchiha looked at him and the replied, "Dare."

"I dare you to do what ever Kisame says for the rest of the game," Deidara told him.

Itachi looked at Kisame and took off his cloak instead.

Itachi looked at me, "Truth or dare?"

". . . Dare," I told him because I have a compulsive need to always do dares.

"I dare you to make out with Zetsu."

Everyone laughed cause they thought I wouldn't do it but before they noticed I leaned over to him and did it. He wasn't expecting it so he just froze for a second before trying to get the most out of the kiss. I was kind of annoyed at that but I figured from the way he looks he probably didn't get to do anything like this at all. The kiss only really last about twenty seconds before I pulled away.

"Hidan, truth or dare?" I asked.

The other members looked slightly surprised that I did the dare but got over it quickly.

"Truth, otherwise this game would just be dare or dare," Hidan answered.

"Is it true that you can be killed somehow?" I asked.

"You suck, yes its true but I'm not telling you how!" he yelled.

"Kakuzu, truth or dare?" Hidan asked with his trademark smirk already back on his face.

"Dare," Kakuzu simply replied.

"I dare you to give your money away," Hidan said.

Kakuzu took off his cloak immediately.

"Pein, truth or dare?" Kakuzu asked.

"Truth," he responded.

"Is it true that your real name isn't Pein?" he asked.

"No, duh Kakuzu of course its not his real name!" Hidan laughed at him.

"Hidan is right," Pein said.

I smirked and said, "I know what his real name is."

They all looked at me.

"What? I told you that I know about ALL your secrets," I replied.

They all looked unsettled by that piece of information and decided that they wouldn't ask.

Pein was the one to break the silence, "Amaya, truth or dare?"

"Dare," I said because I never choose truth.

"I dare you to do whatever Hidan says for the rest of the night," he told me.

"Uhhhh, ok," I say, "I am so gonna regret this."

Hidan smirked, "Awesome, punch Kakuzu in the face!"

I figured he would try to kill me but whatever I punched him in the face. Thankfully he hit Hidan instead of me.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, hell I'm using the school's computer to write this!  
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I didn't mean to abandon you. TT_TT

* * *

"What the hell Kakuzu?" Hidan yelled.

"Your the one that told her to punch me," he replied.

"Well its my turn now, so Hidan truth or dare?" I asked him.

"Dare!" He yelled back.

"I dare you not to order me around for the rest of the night!" I yelled victoriously.

"Fuck, fine your free," he said.

I smilled but then he added, "True or dare?"

He looked back at me and I completely saw why Kakuzu got annoyed by him.

"Dare," I answered before thinking.

"I dare you to tell us which Akatsuki member you dislike the most!" he said.

I smirked because I saw an easy opening in his dare.

"Orochimaru," I replied simply.

He stoped smirking.

"Itachi truth or dare?" I ask.

He said truth so I thought for a moment before I thought of a good one.

"Who's art do you like better, Sasori's or Deidara's?" I finally say.

"Sasori's," Itachi said and Deidara immediately got pissed off and went for his exploding clay.

When he got up to get his clay he fell over, most likely because he had drank the second most of all of us second only to Kisame. Pein decided that this had already gone too far and ended the game.

"I think that we should go to sleep," I said after seeing that it was already around one in the morning.

"There are three bedrooms upstairs take your pick," I said while walking away.

The others just shrugged and did so.

The other members walked up the stairs after me. Hidan kept following me down the hall until I turned around and said, "And not my room!"

He laughed and replied, "You'll change your mind."

I was going to say something but he walked away.

"For the love of Ra, he's just a big of an asshole in person as in fanfictions but at least he's kinda fun to hang-out with," I thought as I fell asleep after locking my door.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own not of anything ever.

A/N: Heh, I'm actually putting up a chapter within a timescale that you can remember what happened last. Lol

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The next morning I woke up and rolled out of bed. No literally I rolled out of bed and onto the floor. When I decided that i had gotten well enough acquainted with Carpet-Chan I got up dressed so I could walk out to see how the rest of the Akatsuki were doing. When I got out I saw that only Tobi was up with Pein and Konan.

"What's up buttercup?" I said while walking forward.

The rest of them just stared at me and then Tobi said still in his childish voice, "You know who I am don't you?"

"Who the fuck cares would be a better question, Tobi," I answered back and sang his name with a sing-song voice.

"Then you should know that you should be afraid of me," He said still with the childish guise of Tobi.

"OK, first off nothing you can do can actually kill me and second don't talk like that with the Tobi voice, its mad creepy," I said while walking downstairs to get some breakfast.

I stopped and looked back to him, "But just because I know doesn't mean that I'm not going to just pretend like I don't know that your really the leader."

Pein and Konan looked confused so I said, "I like him better when he's Tobi, besides I'll still follow the orders any of you give me anyway . . . well within reason."

With that I walked down stairs and grabbed a pop-tart.

When the other members came down they all grabbed things to eat as well and we sat in an awkward silence until I said something, "Well who wants to go for a walk in the woods?"

Deidara, Tobi, and Hidan all got up and we walked out the door.

"Do you guys know how to play man-hunt?" I asked the after we walked into the woods.

They shook there heads yes.

"You wanna play?"

Tobi immediately got up and hugged me while saying, "Yeah, we could even play in teams I bet we could win!"

Deidara and Hidan looked rather pissed off at his annoying behavior and at the fact that if I agreed to be on his team they would be stuck together.

"Alright Tobi you and Deidara vs Me and Hidan!" I said while shoving him into Deidara with a huge smile on my face.

I could tell that Madara had probably planed it that way anyway so I didn't really care.

"Well I guess that since there is only two teams we should change a few rules, How bout this, first team to capture one of the other team's people wins?" I question then add, "I know its not really man-hunt anymore but whatever."

The three of them nod there heads in agreement and I say the ready set go thing for us to start and we run off into the woods.

After only a few minutes I was already falling behind and so Hidan started to laugh, "Yeah you definitely arn't a ninja, you can't even keep up with me and I'm one of the slowest members!"

"Well sorry, but hey if you guys are in the real world and all of the justus that you use work if I can remember them I could use some too," I said.

"So you have seen like a lot right?" he asked.

"Yeah, just let me see if it works." I tried doing the shadow clone justu because it looks like one of the most simple ones anyway.

When I opened my eyes and saw two more of me I high-fived them and then realized something else, If I could remember Tobi and Deidara's I could probably copy those too.

I started to think for a moment, "I probably can't do any of Deidara's since they all involve clay n' stuff so I'll just try Tobi's whack-a-mole justu thing."

When I tried it and that worked as well I decided that this could work perfectly.

"Come on Hidan, I've got a plan," I said while walking towards the direction that Deidara and Tobi went.

"Whatever," he replied with a bored expression.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto . . . you bastards.  
A/N: Nobody gave me any suggestions so I'm just gonna choose.

* * *

"Ok, basically we're going to capture Deidara because they would expect us to go after Tobi," I told Hidan.

"Well that, and we wouldn't be able to catch Madara," I thought to myself.

"Oh shit, Tobi and Deidara!" Hidan yelled he jumped out of the way and I used the whack-a-mole jutsu.

"Tobi isn't that your justu, hn?" Deidara asked.

"Oh! She must know all of our tricks Deidara-Senpai," Tobi exclaimed.

I popped up behind them and tapped them on the shoulders before going back under ground.

"Wait what about Hidan?" Tobi asked just as he tackled Deidara.

Deidara rolled out of the way before Hidan could catch him and then sent out some of his clay birds to distract Hidan. Then I once again popped up out of the ground with the intent to grab Deidara to win the game when Tobi tackled me to the ground.

"Deidara-Senpai, we won!" he yelled childishly.

He got off of me and I was about to get up as well when I realized that my ankle was broken. I poked it and then yanked it back into place with a snap. Deidara looked kind of like he was weirded out but Hidan just looked impressed.

"Heh, maybe you would make a pretty good Jashinist," he told me.

"No thanks," I said while getting up.

I dusted myself off and then yelled, "Back to the house," with unnecessary emphasis.

Hidan and Deidara sweat-dropped but Tobi laughed and followed me.

"Hey so what do you normally do around here, hn?" Deidara asked.

"I don't know go to school, bitch about going to school, hang out with friends, and watch anime."

"That sounds boring," Hidan said.

"Yup, pretty much."

When we got back to the house I saw that Konan and Pein were sun bathing. It was weird seeing the two most stoic characters relaxing but it was kind of sweet too.

"Maybe they'll forget about trying to go back to the Naruto world where they all die and stay here," I thought to myself.

"So, how are we going to try to get back to our world?" Itachi asked as he saw us walk up.

"God damn it.'

I thought for a moment and realized that maybe if I went with them I could figure out some way from stopping at least some of there deaths from happening.

"Well, I could go and call all my peoples to come over here and try to figure some way, or we could look it up on google," I said.

They just looked at me until Tobi asked what google was.

"Come on," I said while leading them back into the house.

I pulled up my laptop and searched travel through dimensions. As I suspected, nothing helpful came up.

"Yeah . . . didn't really expect that to work," I told them while closing the Internet and walking back over to them.

"Well what about your friends?" Itachi asked.

"Well, I don't think any of them would be very useful with this sort of thing," I replied jokingly.

The other members started to come inside when they heard us talking about a way for them to get home.

"Maybe, whatever we need to do will just come to us?" I suggested lamely.

He looked at me skeptically.

"Well do you have any better ideas?" I ask him.

"Yes, actually I do," He replied, and I swear to Tahno if he didn't have such a history of seriousness I would have expected him to smirk.

"Oh really, what is it then, huh?" I ask back.

"We should start retracing our steps until we figure out what we where doing to cause this to happen," he said.

"Alright, lets just get everyone's stories and figure it out," I agreed.

"I was sitting in a cave with Kisame waiting for the rain to stop," he informed us.

"I was throwing rocks in the cave," Kisame added helpfully.

"I was walking with Deidara thought the dessert on the way to the sand village," Sasori said.

Deidara looked up, "I wasn't with you when this happened I was walking through the forest with Tobi."

Tobi shook his head in disagreement, "I was talking to Zetsu before I got here."

"Yeah he was," Zetsu confirmed.

"How come we where all pulled from different times?" Hidan asked.

I understood, if Tobi didn't have his ring I knew exactly what was going on.

"Tobi let me see your hand," I said.

He held his hand up and I saw that there wasn't a ring.

"I get it now!" I yelled.

They all looked at me expectantly.

"You were all taken here just before you died, or in a few cases just in the current Manga story line," I declared.

"But if that's true than what are we going to do?" Kakuzu asked.

"The only thing we can do, we are going to fuck up the timeline and stop your deaths from happening and bring world peace and maybe get a snow-cone!" I yelled while doing a dramatic pose with some Kamina glasses that I got from Zeus knows where.

The others just stared and eventually just shrugged and muttered out something along the lines of "I guess I had nothing better to do today anyway" and were about to walk away when I yelled, "Group hug?"

They took one look at me and walked away except Hidan and Tobi. I looked at them with pleading eyes.

"Oh all right," Hidan said begrudgingly.

I hugged the both of them tight for a minute. Then they pushed me off of them and walked away, well Tobi did.

Hidan and I just stand there awkwardly until I asked, "You want to have a duel?"


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing . . . echos, eh I got nothin.

A/N: Nobody got what I meant by duel but thanks for the reviews guys. They are like souls to the devil they are so addicting, MWAHAHAHA.

* * *

Hidan looked at me with a cocky disbelieving look and said, "YOU want to have a duel with ME?"

"Not an actual duel, a game," I told him and then added, "If I wanted to have a duel I would have said something like Agni Kai."

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know it sounds cooler," I yelled in defence.

He just looked at me with a look that made me feel stupid until I started yelled about his evil death glares and he started laughing. After we got that out of the way I dragged him to a closet where I kept my cards.

"A fucking card game?" he asked and crossed his could tell that he thought he was above it.

"Oh come on you'll definitely get into it, we can get the other members to watch me kick your ass in a game of wits," I told him while giving him a duel-disk and a deck.

After a short amount of time later we were ready to start.

"Go beat his ass!" Kisame joked.

I gave him a thumbs-up and then took out my millennium ring and put it on. We both drew five cards. I got some of my best. It was then that I decided I would get into this and do my best Bakura impression the whole time.

I spiked my hair quickly while nobody was looking and then in my best British accent said, "How about we make this game a little more interesting?"

Hidan stoped looking at his cards and looked at me and saw that I not only had my hair spiked, I also had the whole costume on.

"What the fuck happened to you Amaya?" he asked in utter confusion.

I tried my best Yami Bakura laugh and the said, "I am not Amaya I am the spirit of this ring!"

Itachi spoke up, "Isn't that a necklace?"

The others nodded in agreement.

"The dark lord Zorc will have some new entertainment in the shadow realm today," I said while trying to pose as well as I could as Bakura.

"Well then what do you want to play for?" Hidan asked.

"If I win I get you as my slave but if you win you get . . . What do you want?" I asked.

"You have to do whatever I say for the next two months if I win!" Hidan said.

"Whatever, he barley knows how to play and now that I have the power of my new super special awesome Yami Bakura evil laugh nothing can stop me!" I though to myself.

"I accept," I told him.

He started laughing just like he did before he killed someone in the show. It probably should have creeped me out but I responded with an evil laugh that rivaled his.

"Ha, Hidan still beats you when it comes to the laugh, _Bakura_," Kisame mocked jokingly.

I yelled back without breaking character, "At least I'm not one of Davy Jones' henchmen!"

"Aren't you doing something?" Itachi asked hinting to get on with the game.

"Fine, who goes first?" I asked.

"I'll go first," Hidan replied.

"Then go," I told him.

He just sneered and drew a card.

Hidan started off surprisingly well and already made me lose some life points.

"And I end my turn," Hidan finished with a smirk.

I just smirked right back and drew a card. I smiled even more evilly when I saw that I drew a god card. I played some weaker monster and ended my turn.

I could hear the Akatsuki placings bets thanks to Kakuzu. Tobi, Kisame, Sasori, Konan, and Kakuzu were all betting on me and everyone else was betting on Hidan.

Hidan activated one of my trap cards and was as Bakura would put it, "royally screwed."

He scowled and ended his turn.

I drew a card and was about to summon my god card but heard, "Hey Deidara-Senpai, I bet you a week of silence that Amaya will win!"

I also heard Deidara take the bet.

"I have a critical decision to make, lose on purpose because it would be hilarious or win because I want Hidan to be my slave," I thought to myself.

"I surrender," I say while putting my hand over my deck.

Hidan looked surprised but then started laughing.

Half the Akatsuki started groaning about losing their bets.

Deidara walked over to me, "Thanks for losing to shut him up."

I just laughed, "Yeah, whatever it was nothing."

Hidan started to walk over to me.

"Hm, what should my first order be?" he said with his normal cocky attitude.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing bitches.  
A/N: Thanks for the suggestion that I got, so here it is.

* * *

"Do I really have to wear this?" I asked Hidan.

"Yes, now come on! I order you to come out," Hidan yelled through the door.

I walked out in the maid's uniform he made me wear.

"How did he even find one of these in one day?" I thought to myself.

"Alright, your first real order is to cook us all dinner," Hidan said with a big smirk.

"What am I suppose to cook for you Hidan-Sama?" I asked putting sarcasm into the 'Sama'.

"I don't know just as long as it doesn't suck," He shrugged.

I nodded and walked to the kitchen to try and think of something easy to cook. Tobi had walked in and up to me while I was lost in thought. When he tapped me on the shoulder I jumped and saw that he was caring around a notebook and a pen.

He scribbled down, "That wasn't very funny."

"Oh, keep your mask on Tobi at least you don't have to cook for everyone while wearing an extremely annoying costume!" I told him.

He wrote, "Well your also not the true leader of Akatsuki are you?"

I smirked, "Maybe I am, in this word I lead my own Akatsuki!"

"What do you mean?" he wrote.

"I had my own group named after you and I am the true leader although I was actual the Itachi of the group," I told him.

He started laughing and I of course had to know what was so damn funny about that.

He started writing, "You would make a horrible Uchiha and leader!"

I scowled.

"Wanna make another bet then?" I asked.

He wrote, "What kind of bet?"

"We'll switch places and you'll see they won't even notice a difference in you at all, but you probably couldn't be me!" I told him.

"I could just wear your clothes since your not allowed to talk and you can do a transformation jutsu," I continued.

He wrote that he agreed.

"Ok lets go switch clothes then!" I said.

He just shrugged then scribbled down, "Your so unpredictable that I could probably act like my self without my Tobi disguise and they would just think that you were fucking around again."

I decided to take that as a complement.

"What do you want if you win the bet and they figure out I'm not you?" I asked him.

I regretted wanting to bet with him because of the pure evil that seemed to radiate from him after that question.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing. At. All.  
A/N: Okamistar was the one to finally suggest something for the question I left at the bottom of the last chapter so yeah okamistar is awesome and the rest of you must earn back my love, lol not really.

* * *

"_When_ I win, you have to follow ever order I give you and my first order will be that you can't reveal my true identity to the others," Madara wrote to me while we were walking towards my room to get into disguises.

I stopped short.

"Whoa man, those terms are pretty steep!" I told him.

He looked at me and start writing, "Well you just have to ask for something worth while then."

I thought about it for a moment and I realized that, yes, Madara is a evil person.

"Fine if _I_ win _you_ have to follow every order I give without question," I said with a victorious smirk.

He just laughed. I decided to ignore it for now. We got to my room and once we were both in and I locked the door I told him it was ok to talk.

"Well . . . your room is really messy," he finally said.

"Yeah, I know but its not dirty, I clean but I leave things out," I replied.

"How are we going to do this? Are you just gonna change into some of my clothes so I can have yours then you transform?" I asked him deciding not to waste anytime.

He looked at me, "Yeah, that's fine but I don't need to wear your clothes if I do the transformation."

"If your changing out of your clothes you would need some other ones and besides almost all of my clothes are gender neutral so you would look normal anyway," I answered back while grabbing some of my clothes out of the closet.

He mumbled 'fine' and then started to take ff his cloak, mask, and shoes first. I couldn't resist looking at his face at least once. I was completely surprised when I saw that Madara not only had wrinkle-free skin but also a scar stretching across his face from his left eye to the corner of his lip. He caught me starring at him and a cocky smirk spread across his face.

"Like what you see?" he asked.

"Don't get so full of yourself, I just never knew what your face looked like. Alright?" I replied in annoyance.

I had to wait until he was in nothing more than underwear. He smirked at me and handed me his outfit and then took the one that I left out for him. I started to take off the clothes I was wearing and I noticed that when I was halfway finished Madara was fully dressed. He was also staring at me. Madara Uchiha was watching me undress.

"Wow, no matter how I say it it still sounds unbelievable . . . and a more than a little creepy," I thought to myself.

I quickly put his clothes on and the mask last. It was a little disorienting to only be able to see with one eye.

I took Madara's notebook and pen to write, "Well, Amaya it looks like you have some dinner to cook. :D"

He did the transformation jutsu and just scowled at me.

"Wait what if they figure you out? That should also mean that you lose the bet!" I wrote.

He just shrugged and agreed.

"What were you doing before you came to talk to me?" I asked him.

"I was bothering Deidara," he said.

I nodded and was going to go find him but then I realized something, Itachi might be able to see through our disguises, literally.

"Wait what about Itachi?" I asked.

"He wouldn't be able to tell, he can see chakra but that's it, he can't distinguish people just by using his sharingan," he responded.

"Alright let's go," Madara said with a dramatic pose just like I would do.

"Ok, but before go and I can't talk anymore I just want to say one thing," I told him.

He looked at me.

"Tobi's a good boy!" I yelled.

Not surprisingly he just looked at me confusedly, "I never said that before."

"Yeah, but so many fans say it that everyone who cosplays as you says it," I told him.

Madara just shook his head and walked out of my door. I followed him to see where he was going. Eventually we walked into the kitchen and say Deidara and Sasori siting at the table playing my DSs.

I sat down next to Deidara and he looked at me with an annoyed expression, "What do you want Tobi?"

I wrote down, "I want to know what you were doing Deidara- Senpai :D"

He just scowled some more and sighed before responding, "I'm playing some sort of game on this thing," he gestured to the DS.

I tried to look at the screen to see which game he was playing and if he was messing up my saved files. He was trying to play Zelda: Spirit Tracks and kept dieing by setting up bombs but not getting far enough away from them.

I figured I should try to annoy him so I wrote again, "Oh Senpai, the person looks just like you!"

I pointed to the picture of princess Zelda on the box.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I still own nothing, unless one of you want to volunteer.  
A/N: I had alot of fun witing this chapter.

* * *

"Tobi you little shit get, back here!" Deidara yelled as I took off.

I tried my best to run while not bumping into anything or anyone.

I might have imagined it but I think I heard Madara yell, "If your going to kill him do it outside!"

That did not make me feel much better. Although it was a bit fun dodging Deidara. I could see why Madara did this so much, it probably wasn't to keep his cover, it was because seeing Deidara so mad was pretty hilarious. Eventually when Deidara got bored of trying to get me to run outside so he could use his bombs he stoped chasing me and politely told me we would continue this later.

Well, he actually said, "Tobi you bastard, I'm going to get you later!"

Once he walked away I took a deep breath of relief. Being Tobi was fun but tiring.

"Oh shit, I have to ask Madara where he was sleeping before because I can't go to my room or some of them would start gating suspicious," I thought to myself suddenly.

I noticed Itachi walk into the room and look at me.

"Madara what is the real plan to get out of here?" the Uchiha asked.

"Oh fuck, I should just write down my best guess at what he would say and hope that itachi doesn't wonder why I'm still writing," I mentally plan.

"We have nothing else to go by in this world other than this odd girl who wants to join us, so for now are best choice is to trust her," I write to him praying to every god that he buys it.

"Are you sure Madara? What if this is all some sort of enemy trap to get information from us?" he asked skeptically.

I did my best to look threatening and wrote, "Are you questioning my judgement? And as for the information gathering, so far she only seems to be giving us information, we can't count on it but she hasn't tried anything against us."

Itachi looked almost relieved, almost, that I seemed level-headed. He bowed his head respectfully and walked out of the room.

"I don't know if I can keep this up, maybe I should try to call off the bet . . . no I have to beat him and show him that I would make a great leader and Uchiha!" I thought.

"Hey fuckers, get down here Amaya made us dinner!" Hidan yelled from downstairs.

I started walking down but then I remembered the mask. I began walking back up the stairs but I heard someone else walking down the hall. I had to continue into the kitchen where Deidara stood waiting for me. He grabbed me and had a very evil look in his eyes that reminded me of how he looked when something blew up. He ripped the pen from my hand and held it above his head.

"That's it?" I wondered.

I played the part of distressed Tobi trying to get his pen back from his mean Deidara-Senpai. After a few more members namely Itachi walked in he stoped and tried to look cool. I took my pen back and walked over to a seat by Kisame. Madara who was unhappily carrying a bowl full of noodles and sauce while still wearing the maid's costume walked over to the table and put the food in the center. Kisame decided to even thank me. Of course, it wasn't me and really it was Madara but he didn't know that.

For the first time since I put the mask on I realized that you could barely smell anything with it on so instead of smelling the scent of food all I could smell was a musky scent that I figured must belong to Madara. The fangirl part of me wanted to try and memorize the scent. The normal part of my brain didn't protest although it wondered when I became so mentally fucked up.

While everyone else was helping themselves I just kept moving the same food around on my plate. It was a good thing nobody actually gave a shit about Tobi enough to bother to see if he ate at all.

When everyone was finished Madara acting as me walked over to me and spoke, "I have a great idea for a game in the woods, you want to play Tobi?"

I shook my head yes knowing that this would be my only chance to ask him anything tonight. He grabbed my hand tightly enough that it hurt but not enough to be noticeable and pulled me outside.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I own nothing. It is your job to decide if that is a good thing or not.  
A/N: This story might start to develop a plot soon, just warning you. I have revised this chapter, it has been revised out of order but still, I have to start somewhere.

* * *

I was pulled outside and into the woods my Madara until we were far enough in the woods that if I screamed bloody murder nobody would hear me. I wasn't scared though, I was being draged by somone in a maid's costume. That does not paint a picture of fear no matter how you look at it.

"What is it, Madara" I asked but got no response.

"What, do you want to call of the bet?" I asked him mockingly.

He stared at me motionlessly for a moment before speaking, "What the hell is wrong with you fangirls?"

"What did you find?" I asked back.

Madara looked visibly tense but answered anyway, "I was on you computer-"

"Wait I had a password to get on my laptop!" I interjected.

He rolled his eyes but responded, "I found your old one, it had an apple on the front. So because I found out about google from you I decided to type in a few of our names together just to see what would come up."

"Oh shit, you saw the yaoi didn't you?" I asked and within a second of thinking I added, "For the record I don't think the Akatsuki, any of them, are gay."

". . . I was reading DeiTobi because I had no idea what it was!" He yelled at me.

I could see that he looked extreamly unsettled by how much of the yaoi we have written about him so I tried to think of something to cheer him up. My mind came up blank.

He looked up at me, "Do you want to just call of the bet? I really don't want to pretend to be you anymore."

Well ouch.

"Come on man, I don't even read that stuff at all . . . well I guess I was forced into writing SasuNaru that one time, but I NEVER make the Akatsuki gay!" I yelled.

"I also saw the hentai, at least that was straight though," He started.

"I saw your history, " He told me with an expretion I couldn't read.

"My history, is just parodies mostly so what's the big deal?" I asked as I realized that he wasn't really upset over some stupid fanfiction.

I just noticed that I had been backing up towards deeper into the woods as Madara walked closer.

"Hey Madara, you don't intimidate me I know all your most powerful moves and about a million more from the rest of the characters on the show!" I told him while walking towards him.

He activated his Mangekyou Sharingan and responded, "You can't die but I will figure out your weekness."

I looked away from his eyes so I couldn't be put in a genjutsu and countered, "Well untill then I'm just like any other member."

"I'll find some way for you to be used," He said while breaking his transormation jutsu.

"The only reason I agreed to this childish game was to get a chance to have this little talk without having to worry about the others hearing so lets go back," he added.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn," I joked already ignoring the serious conversation we just had.

He just rolled his eyes and took his mask back from me. After a moment of silence we started walking back to the house. I saw a big mud puddle on the side of the path Madara was walking on coming up ahead. I made sure not to even glance at it or he might suspect what I was about to do. As we were about to pass it one swift push on his head from me without looking in his direction landed him in the mud.

While I walked away I told him, "Saved your life."

"From what Amaya-Kun?" He asked in his Tobi voice although stressing the 'Kun' quiet a bit.

"Eh nothin," I responded.

"Teach him to threaten me!" I mentally congratulated myself before I took off running for the house.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I own Naruto! *Kishimoto walks in and pours water on my head to wake me up then says, not even in your dreams.*  
A/N: I was reading a thing about Akatsuki fanfic cliches so I was like, "Lets change things up a little" and this chapter was born. Also, Kisame hasn't been getting enough love in this fanfiction so I'm gonna change that. But not in this chapter cause I'm lazy.

* * *

I took off running as fast as I could but I couldn't reach the house in time before Madara caught me. Eleven seconds had to be a record for escapeing him though.

"You are going to regret that later when I figure out a way to control you," he told me with promise evident in his voice.

"Why?" I asked.

"What do you mean why?" he demanded back.

"Why do you want to control me?" I asked, "I mean if you give me orders you can trust me to fulfill them about as much as you can trust the other Akatsuki members."

He let me go but told me, "That is exactly the reason."

We walked back into the house and when we walked towards the kitchen we could hear the others talking.

"I think while we're here we should try to get some of there weapons!" Deidara suggested.

"I disagree, I think that steeling some gold or objects of value then bringing then back with us would be a better option," Kakuzu told Pein.

"I think we should find out about the weapons, how powerful they really are and then act accordingly," Itachi said.

I looked at Madara and then walked into the kitchen.

"We have weapons of mass destruction and untold suffering has been caused by them, I don't think anyone will really miss them if we just stole . . . one or two top secret weapons from a government that isn't mine," I told them after they stared at me for a moment.

"What are the best explosives you have here?" Deidara asked excitedly.

"Well the very biggest we have are nukes but trust me even you guys wouldn't want to mess with those," I replied.

"Why not?" Konan asked.

"Well for starters, it kills about a million people per. bomb, America which is my country was the first and last to use it to date, and the radioactive fallout from it lasts for decades," I replied.

"Alright then second biggest?" Pein asked.

"Hm, the The Massive Ordnance Air Blast or the MOAB, once again made right here in America," I stated.

"You know the talk about bomb history is really making me proud of my country," I added.

Deidara had a bit of what I would describe as a pyromanicish look in his eye after I told him about the nuke so I didn't realize that he was starting to get even more excited as I went on.

"What you guys would want to get is a bunch of assault rifles, grenades, hand guns, and snipers," I said after thinking a moment.

"Where would you suggest getting these things?" Kisame asked.

"Well that is a damn good question, the only military base I can name off the top of my head is Area 51," I replied.

Itachi looked at me, "Why don't we get them there then?"

"Oh fuck no, this place is THE place for every conspiracy theory ever thought of aliens, stealth fliers, mind control, telepathy, you name it they have theories about it!" I told them.

"Not to mention the tight security, I have seen signs that say trespassers will be shot! Along with snipers in cars overlooking the last road you can even get miles toward it by so I don't think it would be the best idea, I'm not doubting you could do it but there are probably better places to go," I finished.

"Do you think that they would have the best weaponry there though?" Pein asked.

"Well, nobody really knows what goes on in there and everyone that works there who's willing to talk about it mysteriously vanishes," I replied honestly.

Madara walked up and with his Tobi voice he said, "I think we should go there!"

I looked at Tobi, "Eh, what the heck? I've always wanted to know if t rumors were true of not."

"So its decided then, we'll leave tomorrow," Pein declared.

He looked at me, "You need to get us transportation and directions."

"Easy, directions to the most secret military base in America," I said while getting a glass of water for the head-ache that was sure to develop.

"Deidara, Kisame, Tobi, Itachi, Sasori, and Hidan will be going on this mission," Pein decided.

"Can you guys remember to feed my cat while I'm gone?" I asked.

"You have a cat?" Konan asked.

"Yeah, will you guys feed her?" I asked again.

"How often does it need to be fed?" she asked.

"Every day," I told her skeptical that any of them would take care of my cat.

"I'll do it for twenty bucks," Kakuzu offered.

I looked at Pein for help.

"I'll feed your cat for you," he told me.

"Thanks Pein!" I replied before grabbing my laptop for the research that I would need to do.

Deidara and Kisame pulled up chairs next to me and I knew this was going to be a long night.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I own nothing meaning other than myself I own nothing.  
A/N: Well Area 51, I actually bothered to go do a bit of research to get this to seem bit more realistic.

* * *

"What are you guys starring at?" I asked Deidara and Kisame.

They had both been looking at the screen of my computer as I opened up the internet.

"I want to see your only apparent skill, I don't think you'll be able to do this though," Kisame joked.

I rolled my eyes and searched directions to area 51. Surprisingly something came up, thank you google maps. I clicked print on the directions and then looked for a map which I found and printed a minute later.

"Done," I told Kisame while handing him the papers.

He looked a bit surprised and then just had a goofy grin, "Well I was wrong, you can do something other then not die."

All three of us laughed a little then Kisame set down the papers and left.

"So, what did you need?" I asked Deidara.

"You keep searching stuff on there, can you search us?" He asked me.

"Yeah, your otaku, including me post tons of stuff all over the internet like fanart and stuff," I answered.

"What's fanart, hm?" He questioned.

I typed in Deidara fanart and he looked at the first few pictures that popped up.

"These aren't as bad as I expected," Deidara said while looking through a few.

He came across one with Itachi in it and he scowled, "Why did they make him so much taller, hm?"

"I don't know, their art their choice," I told him.

He kept scrolling down grinning at the ones that made him look cool or funny in a good way and frowning at ones that made him look cute. Eventually he came across a cosplayer.

"Why are they dressed like me?" he asked.

"They cosplay, they get dressed up and then go to cons, I do sometimes," I answered simply.

"Who do you cosplay then, Konan?" he asked.

"No, Itachi," I said.

He just started laughing.

"Yeah, its hilarious and my friend Takeshi is Sasuke so I ended up referring to her as little brother," I agreed and laughed with him, "Although, I did cosplay Hidan sometimes to yell at people without getting in trouble."

"So are you as close to her as Itachi and Sasuke?" he joked.

"Yeah, you see how she was when she was over?" I replied.

I was talking about when she kicked me but I really did think of her as my little brother.

"Hey what do you think of my art?" he asked.

"Well you and Sasori inspired me to try to figure out what true art is and I think your art is pretty damn amazing," I told him.

"What do you think true art is then, hm?" he asked.

"I think true art is something that you never forget and influences you," I replied.

He looked thoughtful, "That doesn't agree or disagree with either my or Sasori's views on art."

He didn't look happy or angry just thoughtful.

"We could both be right, you and I," he said.

"Are you an artist?" he asked.

"Well yeah, I write but its not to good, Takeshi is way better at drawing than I am at writing," I answered.

He frowned, "Let me read it."

I shook me head dramatically and covered the screen even though it wasn't on there, "No, my story isn't done!"

He rolled his eyes.

"Hey, what do you do when your not on missions or blowing things up?" I asked him.

"That's about all I do," he said.

"You need to get out more," I told him.

Deidara looked bored at my comment like it wasn't worth a real comeback, "Your one to talk."

"Hey sometimes I go out and play DDR and stuff," I defended weekly.

He looked at me puzzled. I replied, "I'll show you some time."

We talked for a little while more but since we were leaving tomorrow we both went to our rooms to get some sleep. I closed the door behind me and walked over to my clock to see what time it was but right after I picked it up a hand grabbed my shoulder.

I jumped a little and I saw that it was Madara, "Fucking ninja."

"Nice to see you too," he joked darkly.

"What is it Madara? Find a way to destroy me yet?" I asked mostly joking.

"Yes," he replied.

"Oh, and how are you going to do that?" I asked back.

"With your _little brother_," Madara mocked.

"You were listening?" I asked with not much disbelief and tried to keep in my normal hyper mood as if he wasn't right.

"Of course I was, I'm always listening," he replied with a creepy threading voice and took off his mask to intimidate me more.

I thought of a way to make it seem like I genuinely didn't care, "Wow you creeper, and how often do you sneak into my bedroom?"

His reaction you ask? He face-palmed.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Well I still don't own anything, I'm gonna go cut myself. JK :P  
A/N: Yeah, I know were I'm going but my god damn thoughts won't be typed! FUCKING THOUGHTS GET ON THE PAPER! GAH!

* * *

"You can't fool me like that," he told me.

"Well maybe you just miscalculated," I replied.

"I don't miscalculate but you are a bit more like an Uchiha than I thought, Itachi was the same way when I threatened Sasuke," he said.

"You threatened Sasuke? No wonder Itachi hates you," I responded.

"I know how to tell weather or not you'll protect her," he stated, "Go ask Itachi what I threatened to do to Sasuke, would you really put her through a fate worse than death?"

"Maybe I will ask Itachi!" I elled even though I knew he was speaking figuratively.

I walked out the door and into the living room where it looked like Pein and Itachi were having a staring contest but they could just be having a conversation.

"Itachi, I need to talk to you about Madara," I said as soon as I walked in.

His eyes narrowed and I realized that I never told him or Zetsu that I know about Madara.

"What about him?" he asked.

I glanced over at Pein and Konan trying to decide if they could be trusted, "Its about Sasuke and Takeshi."

He got up and gestured for me to follow him. I figured anything about his little brother would get his attention. He led me outside and then looked at me questioningly.

"He said to ask you what he said he would do to Sasuke if you didn't obey him because that's what he'll do to Takeshi if I don't listen," I told him quickly.

If Itachi could look anymore depressed than he normally did he would be right now.

"Bad enough that I do listen to him," He responded stoically.

"Your amaterasu doesn't kill him you know," I told him.

"I never really thought it would," he responded.

He walked back into the house and I stood out there and looked up at the sky.

"Will you listen to me now?" Madara demanded.

I looked at him seriously, "Fine."

"But seriously, I would have already followed basically any of your orders," I added.

"So you'll do whatever I say?" he asked me.

"Pretty much," I confirmed.

I looked at him and then said, "And if its alright with you, I'm going to go to sleep since I'm going to have to drive all you guys to a military base."

I walked into the house and into my room to get as much sleep as possible. I thanked Starclan that it was only ten. The next day I woke up around six and pulled on an old ratty t-shirt, some jeans, and I sweat shirt with earbuds in the strings. I grabbed my ipod and plugged it in the earbuds. It wasn't turned on though. I grabbed my money and walked out my room to brush my teeth and hair. I bumped into Kisame though as soon as I walked out.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask him.

"I was suppose to tell you that leader wants us to leave in ten minutes," he replied while rolling his eyes at the ten minutes part.

"Alright you guys already ready then?" I ask.

He shook his head yes and then pointed down the hall to the living room where everyone was sitting around.

"OK," I told him while I walked away to quickly get ready then join them.

"You have directions to get to this Area 51?" Pein asked.

I shook my head, "Yeah, I printed out copies and checked to make sure if there were any faster ways."

The face he made looked shocked that I was being serious and actual could do what was asked of me.

"And transportation?" Konan added.

"Hell yeah, you wanna check it out?" I ask.

They nodded there heads stoically. Of course I might have fallen down both sets of stairs on my way to the garage but when we got there I was the one to flick on the lights to show them something they've probably never seen before. A car.

"Hey I've seen something like this before!" Kisame declared.

"Let me guess, in the land of snow or whatever?" I ask.

"Yeah, just once though," he confirmed.

"Whatever, that isn't what we're taking anyway, we are taking the RV," I tell them.

They looked and saw the RV and mostly just stared at it and I couldn't tell if they were impressed or disappointed.

"Should we leave now?" I finally ask Pein while looking at Madara out of the corner of my eye.

"Yes, go and for god's sake, try not to draw attention to yourselves so please take what she says into consideration," he declared.

I think he just used up his speech quota for the month because he walked away with Konan following close behind.

* * *

A/N: You guys should reveiw. No seriously, go reveiw. I mean it, don't make me send a pack of dingos after you guys.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Uh . . . ran out of stuff to say so I'll just scream, I DON'T OWN NARUTO!  
A/N: I haven't updated in a while but don't worry I will try harder.

* * *

"Are you guys ready then?" I asked the members that remained in the garage.

They looked at the RV and each mumbled 'yeah' or shook there heads 'yes' while walking onto it.

"Woohoo! Road-trip!" I yelled while jumping in last.

"Ok, before we go there are some ground rules I have to cover so that you don't get discovered and so that this remains in one piece when we get back," I told them with a serious look.

"Who the fuck put you in charge?" Hidan questioned.

"Your quite literally, in my world now so if you don't want to be dissected or in your case, vivisected, then you should listen to what I have to say," I answered.

"Let them, I'll sacrifice them to Jashin-Sama if they try!" Hidan argued.

"That's another thing, you guys can still beat most of our weapons but you have to be extremely extremely EXTREMELY careful or you could be shot by a sniper, AK rifle, or a close range hand gun if you don't check to make sure they really are dead first," I told them.

"Ok, basically the rules for this are the same as if we were in a zombie apocalypse," I continued.

"I take notes from movies, the first rule is to wear your god damn seat belt," I stated, "And yes that includes you Hidan just because you can't die doesn't mean that I want to pick your brains out of my windshield."

He just smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Rule number two, blend the fuck in because people will watch you to see if you do things weird if you keep the cloaks you'll probably have to grab some of the old clothes from the back room," I told them.

"What about me, Kakuzu, and Tobi?" Kisame asked.

"Well I suppose you guys will have to do a transformation jutsu if you want to do out and such," I said while shrugging.

They didn't question me further so I continued, "Next rule, if your not absolutely positive someone is dead shoot them again."

They just waited for the next rule this time. "My final most important rule is this, Don't be a hero, don't make a stand, don't try to save some chick just because you might get some or something, and most importantly don't take a shot for someone!"

"Yeah, you really didn't have to warn US about that," Sasori said with a bland expression.

"Yeah well, a couple of you do decide to make a stand before your killed in the anime," I counter.

"Oh, before we go I figure sleeping arrangement should be made now instead of later when we're tired and more likely to kill each other over a bed," I added.

They looked at each other and then back at me expectantly.

I went on, "Well there are six of us and-"

"I don't sleep," Sasori interrupted.

"There are five of us and there are only four beds," I stated.

"I'll share," Hidan said while walking towards me.

"Piss off Hidan, just for that you get the shitty pullout sofa bed thing!" I yell and point to the couch.

He scowled at me.

"Well now that we have decided who gets the crappiest bed I call the one in the back!" I yell while pointing down the small hallway.

"What if we don't follow your rules, yeah?" Deidara questioned.

"Then so help me, I will put my music to full volume and make all of you listen to Rebecka Black the whole fucking way to Area 51!"

"Why don't we just draw straws, whoever gets the shortest two have to share?" Kisame suggested.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I own nothing and here by disclaim owning things because I disclaim them. . . DISCLAIMINGLY! I disclaim owning Naruto and I disclaim owning the amazing Lords of Acid who's songs I used.  
A/N: The fucking power is down all over the place were I live so I'm in a Subway, as in the place that sells sandwiches, until they tell me to stop using their outlet.

* * *

The room was quiet until everyone finally agreed to the plan.

"Fine, but what are we gonna use for straws hm?" Deidara questioned.

"Here," I said while handing Itachi a handful of drinking straws which I quickly cut to different lengths.

"This will work right? I mean they are straws!" I joked.

Itachi just held them out for each of us to take one ignoring my joke as usual. We all picked one but everyone was hesitant to see if they had gotten stuck with the shortest straw.

"Oh don't be such babies just look!" I said before looking at my own straw.

"Shit!" I yelled after looking.

"You got it?" Kisame asked.

"Nah, I was just messing with you guys," I answered after holding out my straw.

"Its not me either," Kisame said.

Hidan looked up, "Or me."

One by one they all held up a straw until it was only Deidara, Tobi, and Itachi left. Tobi looked at his. It wasn't him.

"Oh, come on!" Deidara yelled.

"Alright it's decided I'm going to start driving," I say dismissively.

"What!" he yelled.

"I'll deal with it later, right now we should get going," I told him.

He scowled but dropped the subject. I hopped in the drivers seat and before we knew it we were on our way to brake into a top secret military base.

"My life just went from weird to fucking bat shit crazy," I thought to myself.

Seeing the other members start to look for something to do I pulled out one of my favorite CDs and popped it in.

"Mr. Machoman is it true? That all the girls wanna cum on you!" blared from the stereo.

It grabbed all of their attention and they all came to see what I was listening to.

"What are you listening to?" Kisame asked.

"I think that most of us," Itachi started but paused to shoot a glare at Hidan, "Are thinking the same thing."

"Oh? And what might that be O' wise Uchiha?" I mocked but turned it down a little.

"That this music isn't appropriate," he said simply.

"I like it," Hidan interjected.

"If it really bothers you that much I'll skip this song and go to the next one," I said.

Hidan looked disappointed but Itachi just nodded briskly and walked away.

"Hidan, Deidara wanna mess with Itachi?" I asked as soon as he was out of earshot.

Hidan sat in the passenger's seat and Deidara leaned forward on mine and both of them looked expectantly.

"I'll put on a different song and each will be even better than the last. So if Itachi wants us to change the music we will we'll just put one of my even better songs," I tell them with a smirk.

I think Hidan just wanted to hear more music and Itachi getting annoyed would only be an added bonus but Deidara had fiendish delight in his eyes to get to bother the Uchiha.

"Half a pound of tuppany rice, half a pound of treacle, that's the way the story goes, pop goes the weasel," was sung in a almost nursery rhyme but with my insane smile they didn't question it would get better.

It repeated itself but then it played, "Half a spoon of heroin, half a spoon of treacle, that's the way the story goes, out comes the evil."

Deidara and Hidan smirked.

"Hey do you guys know what headbanging is in the ninja world?" I asked.

"No," They both replied.

"I can't show you right now since I'm driving and all that shit but remind me later," I told them right as Itachi walked back over to us, "Really?"

"What it isn't sexual?" I asked feigning innocence.

"Just make it something less, loud and distracting," he said before walking away again.

I smirked at Hidan and Deidara.

"Marihuana inna your brain, takes more time to ejaculate, roll up a spliff and drowse away the day, with marihuana inna your brain," played next.

"Guys I think Itachi's going to kill one of you if you don't stop!" Tobi squealed in false fear.

"Well it was nice knowing you Deidara," Hidan laughed.

I started laughing at that too.

"Hey, he couldn't kill me!" Deidara defended.

"Yes he could," Sasori interrupted.

"Sasori- Danna!" he yelled offended.

"If you two are going to have relationship issues go do it elsewhere," I say bored at there usual routine of arguing.

Sasori just started looking me over.

"What puppet?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I was just trying to think of weather or not you would still be conscious if I made you a puppet."

"Is that suppose to be a threat or a promise?" I smirked.

I turned the music off much to Hidan's displeasure so he and Sasori walked away.

"I don't think Danna was making an empty threat, hm," Deidara told me.

"Eh, I regenerate so I wouldn't stay like a puppet for long so he can piss off," I said offhandedly while focusing a bit more on driving.

We just stayed in silence for a few seconds before he questioned, "Your not really going to make me stay with that jerk Uchiha, right?"

"If you could convince two other members to share instead then by all means, be my guest," I tell him.

"What about you and Hidan, I mean Hidan wouldn't be against it," He suggested.

"Yeah, you know I actually don't appreciate having to stay up all night just to know that I wasn't molested in my sleep," I said dryly.

"You could stay with Itachi, I'm pretty sure he hates me as much as I hate him and he wouldn't mind getting out of it," he suggested.

I rolled my eyes the best I could while driving and replied, "Well he's probably going to be pissed from the music thing."

"What about you and me?" he asked.

". . . Uh, I don't know," I replied thinking if there was any real reason to avoid Deidara.

"I would actually be safer because then Madara couldn't teleport in and threaten me without waking him up," I thought to myself.

"Come on, hm," he pleaded.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, except on opposite day, which it isn't.  
A/N: You will listen to me! LISTEN! The other sites against SOPA will still be looking here to us, to fanfiction to lead and what will they see? Frightened otaku and derelict site? No, no they will see free users and freedom! And what the enemy will see is the flash of our website, they will hear the ring of our protest, and they will know what we can do! By the sweat of our brows and the strength of our backs and the courage of our hearts! Gentlemen... Hoist the colors!  
Well that was irrelevant. Or was it?

* * *

"Oh for the love of crap, suck it up man!" I yelled at him.

He scowled in response and sat in the seat next to me.

For the next six and a half hours I drove without speaking while occasionally glancing over to see Deidara glaring at me. I finally turned the radio back on and found some music that wouldn't upset the Uchiha any more than he already was.

I could hear the other members start argue in the back. I saw a strip mall and figured a short break would be in order. As I pulled over a few of the members came up to see why I was stopping the RV.

"What the fuck?" Hidan asked while coming to the front to see what was going on.

"I've been driving for hours, and I figured you guys would be at each others throats by now so we're taking a five minute break," I told him.

"Who put you in charge?" Deidara asked irritably.

I paused to think but then replied, "My RV, makes me captain."

I walked off into the back room to grab the box of clothes for the members that didn't need to do a transformation jutsu. As I passed by the other members who looked at me in confusion but let me continue on to the room I saw that most of them looked fairly relaxed.

Kisame was the first to say anything, "What's going on?"

"We're going to go stretch our legs so everyone get some civilian clothes or do a jutsu because in five minutes I'ma be in the book store!" I told him while shoving the box in his hands.

Itachi came up to me after exchanging glances with Madara and spoke, "We have put up with your antics up until now but we will not do so any longer."

I looked back and forth from Itachi to the box in Kisame's hands before deciding that this wasn't an issue worth being tsukuyomied over.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or anything else other than my OCs.  
A/N: A friend convinced me not to take down the fic . . . I'm not apologizing, this is the closest you'll get for me scaring you.

* * *

After a few more days of tense driving and one or two nearly hit pedestrians we finally made it to our destination. The infamous Area 51's final route, the Extraterrestrial Highway.

We had parked the RV outside a diner while some of the Akatsuki would scope out the military base. I had to stay with the RV since the whole "not really a ninja" thing came into play here. So, I decided to waste me time learning how to sing Rue's Theme from the Hunger Games by heart.

"Will you stop singing already? You suck," Hidan said bluntly.

I laughed and started to sing louder. Thankfully right before he was going to decapitate me the other members came back from there recon mission.

Itachi spoke first, "The base is formidable but we should be able to get in."

Deidara smirked and then looked at me evilly before adding, "And that's when you'll be coming with us, hm."

Deidara was still mad about having to bunk with Itachi, spesificaly he was mad at me. I wasn't happy about being part of this plan, if this went wrong I would most likely end up being vivisected, repeatedly. Deidara probably figured that out.

"What am I gonna do?" I ask while trying not to look nervous.

"Your technology in this world is more advanced than our own and you'll be able to recognize what's worth stealing," Kisame told me.

Hidan laughed and said, "Besides if both of us get shot and don't die can you imagine the look on their fucking faces, priceless!"

The other members rolled their eyes at him or otherwise ignored him all together.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I own not of anything but this finally finished project!  
A/N: There! Its done, I hope your happy! No seriously, I hope you like it.

* * *

It was finally morning. I couldn't sleep at all the night before because today could be considered my first ninja mission. That or it could be considered a terrible risk to take and becoming a traitor to my country.

I opted to consider it the first one.

"Are you ready yet?" Kisame asked poking his head in.

I walked over to the door and replied, "As ready as I'll ever be."

We both walked outside where the rest of the Akatsuki were waiting. They all had looks ranging from intrested to indifferent while Itachi went over the plan.

The plan was basically; get in without being seen, find some stuff worth stealing, steal it, leave, go home, and hope that no traces of our presence will be left.

"Do all of you understand?" Itachi asked us in his 'I'm so much smarter than all of you idiots' voice.

We all said that we did and that was that, we were off.

As it turned out, it was fairly easy to get into the base when highly skilled ninjas were involved. What turned out not to be easy was finding something worth stealing.

"How can all of the things we've seen so far be useless to us?" Deidara demanded.

"I don't know -" I started but then stoped when I saw a odd briefcase being wheeled into a lab.

"Let's find out what that is," I told them.

Once we got inside we watch to see what was going on. We seemed to be in luck, the man that brought the thing in here was giving a demonstration of it to his superiors.

"Our lab has made an advancement in the field that will forever change the science! We have already tested it and although initially we had some minor problems with test subjects we have that situation under control," he said quickly while opening the device up and pushing seemingly random buttons.

One of them nodded their head gesturing to continue.

"We have created a device that can open doorways to other dimensions!" he announced to them.

They all had looks that clearly said they didn't believe him.

"I know that this is hard to believe but that is why we have some examples to show you and a demonstration as well." the scientist said.

He pushed a button on a remote that pulled out of his pocket and a glass case containing the other members of the Akatsuki that were suppose to be home inside.

I looked at the members with me and saw that all of them were shocked, even Itachi. That gave me a pretty good idea of how bad this was.

"These are characters from a popular TV show called Naruto and the reason we used them is because it is much easier to locate a dimension that we already know of then it is to find a totally new one that happens to have usefully lifeforms on it as well," he continued.

He laughed a little and added, "In fact we haven't been able to find even one other life sustaining dimension on our own."

The people watching where fascinated now.

"So, enough talk, let us move on to the demonstration," he declared while turning a dial on the machine.

A portal just like the one that had appeared in my living room many days ago opened up in the room. However this portal's occupancy gracefully landed on his feet unlike the Akatsuki had.

The person standing in the room was none other than Sesshomaru. He did not look happy.

"Welcome to our-" the scientist started with a small bow before being cut off, quite literally.

Another scientist raced in and yelled, "You can't let him destroy the machine or all of them will be sent back to their own dimensions!"

The Akatsuki all looked at eachother right before turning back to see Sesshomaru destroying the machine with inhuman speed.

When I looked back at the Akatsuki I saw that they were all quickly fading away.

"Guys!" I yelled while tried to grab one of their hands only to find that they had become like ghosts.  
It wasn't long until they all faded away completely leaving me in the middle of a now very destroyed room.

"Hey! What are you doing in here!" I heard and turned around to see twenty-armed guards.

I said the only thing that could sum up this whole ordeal, "Fuck my life." 

* * *

A/N: I know! Its horrible, you want to kill me, I'm sorry. This really was what I had planned for the past like 14 chapters now. I can't believe how bad it turned out. ;_;  
I wouldn't blame you if you unfavorite this and decide not to be my friend anymore.


	24. A Note From a Thankful Author

**A/N: Hey there everybody who read to the end of the story ~**

**I would just like to thank everybody who read, reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story over the time I wrote it. You guys are all awesome and I love you.**

**Now I'm going to apologize for this next bit. I absolutely hate this story. It was probably one of the worst things I've ever written and no amount of editing can make me love it again (Not that I haven't tried). I had a lot of fun writing it at the time and it always brought a smile to my face when I read the reviews you guys gave me but now I wish I could take it down.**

**Before you get all worked up I'd like to stress that I said 'wish'. I'm not going to take it down because I see how many people liked it and I always hate when a fanfiction author does that too.**

**But anyway, I feel like I've gotten at least a little better at writing, a lot more mature about what I write, and I've just outgrown this story.**

**No, I'm not giving up fanfiction writing, I've started new stories and finally continued my other Akatsuki story, Akatsuki ABC's.**

**I just felt like everyone who read the story up to this point deserved to know why the last chapter felt so rushed but it felt wrong not to finish it and it was basically what I had planed from the start.**

**I love you guys, you're the reason that my writing is better now, all the support I've gotten over the years, all the criticism, even all the hate. It has made me realize that I can write better than this and I'm going to try my best to do that.**

**So, thank you everybody.**

**Now go read my other stories that I'm not ashamed of.**


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